Lilliann's Story

There is nothing in the world like the experience of giving birth.  God sends angels to us women who put our own lives on the line to give that life to another.  My birthing experience with Lilliann has strengthened my testimony of the Atonement of Christ and the love that our Heavenly Father has for each one of us. 

Wednesday, March 21 I went to see my OB-GYN.  I was quite disappointed when I learned that I had not progressed any since the previous week.  After discussing a few things, he offered to strip my membranes.  He said it should work within 48 hours after if it will work at all.  I had little hope, as I had the same thing done with Lincoln twice and nothing happened.

By the time I got home to Battlement Mesa I was pretty sure I was leaking amniotic fluid.  Rather than turning around and going back, I decided to wait until the next day to call. I used my time finishing up little things, including delivering a baby gift to my friend Liz.  As I was walking out her door she told me matter of factly that she had a feeling I would go into labor that night. I told her it had to wait one more night, as I was scheduled for a massage the next morning.  Apparently, Lillian wasn't listening.

My water broke at 2:11am.  Bruce knew something was up because I bolted out of bed, rather than rolled out of bed like I usually do.  We made it to the hospital at about 4, and the waiting game started.  I had maybe 4 contractions on the way down.  When the nurse thought they would be getting more regular, they would slow down.  Bruce and I rested, then went for breakfast around 10, then walked, hoping to get the contractions going. 

I decided that I was done waiting, so pitocin was started at 2:30 on the lowest dose. By 3:30 the nurse turned the pitocin off because my body was now laboring on its own.  As contractions got harder, the epidural was looking nicer.  As the anesthesiologist prepared to insert the epidural, I knew it was time to push. 

Lilliann Marie Hoggan was born March 22 at 5:18 pm, weighing 7 lbs. 1 oz, measuring 20 inches long.  She had a 14 cm head full of blond hair.  She is gorgeous.

Recovery has proven to be a bit more difficult though. I felt great immediately afterward, but things began to slide.  I am very grateful to our Angel Nurse who recognized that I needed some greater care.  I hemorrhaged afterward and was quite pale.  I received one shot of meds in my arm and one suppository to get the bleeding under control.  Then, the headaches came. 

Having an epidural headache after an epidural is a 1 in 100 chance.  I happen to be the lucky one.  You treat the headache with a blood patch.  The needle is inserted into the epidural space again and 20 ccs of your blood is injected to patch up the leak of spinal cord fluid.  It was 15 minutes of agony because the anesthesiologist could not get my IV to bleed well enough to get the blood quickly.  By 5:00pm Friday when my boys came to visit, I was feeling much better.

 I would like to say that everything turned out well after that, but it didn't.  The blood patch is successful 70% of the time, and it appeared that it was successful here too.  But there was still a chance they would come back. I could get out of bed finally without getting a pounding headache.  I opted to stay in the hospital another night to heal more before I left the hospital.   By Saturday evening though, the headaches came back.

As I continue to recover and try to treat my pain, I have had time to reflect on the Atonement of Christ and the pain He suffered to bring each one of us life.  It is not unlike the pain suffered in childbirth to give a new little one life.  The Savior had some support, but ultimately He was on his own as he completed the suffering of the Atonement.  I am very grateful for my angel husband who was my support through the pain and my wonderful nurses who cared for me.  I know my Savior never left me to shoulder the pain alone.  I was in partnership with him and still am as I continue to heal. 

Lilliann is such a joy to have in our home.  My boys already adore her.  Her father loves to snuggle her.  I love feeding her. I look forward to getting to know her wonderful spirit.  She is a wonderful addition to our home and very much worth the price I had to pay to get her here.